


Akira

by RottenBoneThief



Category: Boyfriend to Death (Visual Novels)
Genre: F/M, Friendship/Love, Sano makes some noodles and then gets mad, Two losers playing a lot of overwatch, man I don't know any more, there's some gaslighting somewhere I think, this sounds like a joke but this is a sort of serious fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2020-04-06 02:40:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19053580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RottenBoneThief/pseuds/RottenBoneThief
Summary: The short series of stories I wrote pertaining to my MC and Akira. `





	1. Meeting

**Meeting**  
_**Tracklist: Butterfly Girls - Allan8h** ___

__"... So why are you in my house?" Doll stiffened up. She was sitting at the dining room table, working on a report. She tilted her head, looking over her shoulder._ _

__She recognized this guy. He was a familiar face at the club, always laughing and dancing with people, the DJ, wasn't he...?_ _

__They'd bumped into each other a few times, he'd bought her a drink probably because she was noticeable and loud, probably because she was friendly._ _

__Now though, she wondered if he recognized her. Her hair was down, the colour chalks washed out of it. She wasn't wearing anything exciting or noticeable, just a shirt that wasn't even hers and sweat pants that she also was pretty certain weren't hers, either._ _

__"Hey, Pretty Bird, C'mon, I'm talkin' to you." He snapped his fingers a little and Doll smiled._ _

__"Forgive me, I thought this was Doctor Kojima's house. I didn't realize there was someone else here as well."_ _

__"Friend of the Doc's, eh?" He laughed a little, walking past her, his shoulder bumping her as went to the fridge._ _

__"He's uh, not really a people person." The man laughed, sounding a bit more bitter than humoured._ _

__"I've noticed." She stood up and offered out her hand._ _

__"Nice to meet you formally at least. I'm Doll."_ _

__"Doll?" He snorted, shaking his head._ _

__"Poor fucking taste." He rolled his eyes, taking her hand anyway, giving her a half assed smile._ _

__"I'm not planning on getting to know you, Doll. My brother "friends" don't stick around long. But it's nice to meet you anyway. Shame. You seem like you've got some kind of light in your eye." Doll's brow wrinkled and she tilted her head, her hand limp in the man's._ _

__"My name's Akira. Wish we could've met under better circumstances." He winked, looking a little sad. He pulled out an energy drink and cracked it open, moving to leave. He paused in the doorway, looking back over his shoulder._ _

__"You said, "I'm Doll", not "my name is Doll". So what's your name then?"_ _

__She paused, watching him._ _

__"... My name's Melanie." She tried to smile, pulling her fingers through her hair. Something about the way this man looked at her made her heart flip._ _

__Akira smiled, a lot more genuinely this time._ _

__"...I hope things work out alright for you, Melanie."_ _

__And then he was gone._ _


	2. Lunch Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sano and Doll have their lunch interrupted and the Doctor doesn’t take kindly to his assistant and brother cozying up to one another.

**Lunch Break**

"Doll, taste this." Melanie sat at the small table in their kitchen, looking up. The man moved away from the stove, holding out a spoon for her, beckoning her over without much effort.

Sano didn't tend to eat much, but he didn't seem to mind cooking. Warm home made Miso soup, rice noodles, he usually wouldn't stomach it down himself, but it was something that took up his time and kept his mind from running away with itself.

"Oh-- Thanks, Doc." Melanie smiled big, tasting it, nodding her head.

"That's awesome! Oh my gosh, for someone who forgets to eat most days you really know your way around the kitchen, Sano." She bumped up on him, being playful, but his demeanor didn't change or falter. He just hummed under his breath.

"It isn't that I forget to eat I just... Don't want to. I don't mind noodles so much though, I suppose..." He tilted his head, picking up a tong-full of noodles, watching the way they spilled and slipped back into the bowl. His eyes dilated like a cats.

"They move... uniquely from most other foods. I enjoy them." He looked like a little creature inspecting its kill, but Melanie seemed unphased.

"Right..." She was used to his quirkiness by now. To her, he was endearing. His odd fascination with things like dolls and centipedes and the way human skin moved under a scalpel... She found comfort in it. Even with Sano himself being cold and almost dismissive, Melanie found his company comforting. She liked to be loud and excitable, but something about getting to cool off and talk with Sano and tug at his experiments eased her mind.

She figured one day she'd probably end up back on his operating table. Getting too outspoken, outliving her worth to him, him deciding she was better as something unmoving and behind a glass case...

She just didn't care.

That was sad to admit, sad to say, but there wasn't much else she was living for. Something about Sano had broken her down in someway, down far enough that she willingly took a cleaver to another person's body. She was used to breaking people down mentally, not physically, but she couldn't even lie, there was something fun about this to her. Something sick and twisted in her that she'd make her own excuses for.

Her upbringing, her trauma, her life, something she could blame as a psychologist. Something that made sense as to why she got off on power and control, why she liked sitting on top of someone struggling and strapped down.

Why she wanted to hurt some of the men that Sano ended up experimenting on so desperately. Why she wanted to cut off the girls faces so badly...

Truth was, she was probably just sick and twisted and terrible.

Jealous, really. She was such a jealous person sometimes. Not even for a good reason. She had no romantic feelings for Sano, but anytime he'd whisper that someone had a sharp mind, she'd sit with them and speak with them until she had gaslighted them into a paranoid frency, leaving their sharp mind nothing but a puddle. Anytime he'd say something lovingly to one of his patient's, one that had too pretty a face, one that would make a beautiful doll for the collection he kept in the attic...

She'd have to keep herself back from stabbing them in those pretty faces.

Most never lived through the procedures, so it didn't matter, but when they did, she'd get desperate.

Maybe she was just obsessed with the idea of being important to someone. The thought of being irreplaceable... Sano seemed so intrigued to listen to her sometimes, it made her feel like she was worth something.

Even if it was just for a minute.

Melanie leaned over the pot, smelling the soup, humming happily.

She just needed to pull herself out of her thoughts. She knew where she was going with this. She was spiralling into the whole "I'm a terrible person" bit and it wasn't going to be good.

"What is this, a party and no one invited me?" Akira leaned in the doorway, smiling. Sano hardly offered a greeting but it didn't seem to phase the other man. He smiled and took the seat that was already pulled out, nodding to Melanie.

"Hey Pretty Bird, nice to see you again." He pushed his sunglasses down, winking. Melanie just giggled, waving at him.

She was, admittedly, a little endeared to Akira. He and Sano wouldn't even look at each other, and when they did it seemed like harsh words were thrown more than polite ones.

At one point she thought if Sano didn't like him maybe he was just some clubbing fuck boy, but the more she hung around the house and saw of him, the more she genuinely picked up on who he was. He wasn't hard to read, he was the type of guy who wore his heart on his sleeve. It was easy to see something more genuine under his smile or some sadness behind his eyes.

She liked him.

Even if the time they spent together was them flicking food at each other in the kitchen and snickering like kids.

"Come here, Dollie. What are you up to, anyway?" He reached out, gently taking her wrist, pulling her back to the seat and sitting her on his lap. She laughed again and Sano's head ticked to the side, as if the sound itself was nails on the chalkboard.

"I'm just eating lunch with Sano. What are you doing?" She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, kicking her legs just a little. He grinned big.

Akira liked flirting with her. They jived well off of each other's energy and something about her made him feel a little less isolated. They definitely didn't live in the same World, but it'd been awhile since he'd had someone in his life who he didn't necessarily have to hide everything from.

He still wasn't anything close to an open book, but he felt like he could breathe easier in her company. 

"Melanie." She looked up at Sano, surprised to hear her actual name from him.

"I have errands to run after this. Perhaps you'd like to stay here for a little while?" Melanie hardly ever stayed in the house if Sano was out. She'd finish up her work and let herself out if he went to bed early or had somewhere else to be but...

Her eyes turned up to Akira.

"... You want some company for a little bit?" Akira wasn't looking at her though. He was staring hard at Sano, eyes narrowed at him. He looked like he was mulling something over.

"... Sure thing, Mel." What the Hell was Sano's catch here? Something. Akira kept his eyes on the other man, running through options in his head. He slowly looked back to Doll who was still smiling at him. Akira's eyes widened some.

Testing her. Sano was testing her like the piece of shit he was. He wanted to see if she'd take his bait. Sano was testing her to see if she would leave over staying.

If she'd choose one over the other. Akira's grip tightened on the girl, his nails digging.

"Ow--" She squirmed in his lap, tilting her head, trying to figure out that expression on his face.

"... yeah. C'mon. Get off my lap, let's go do something fun. There's a little Ramen shop up a ways, maybe you and I play a round of Overwatch and winner buys lunch?" Doll's eyes lit up and she hopped off, her back to Sano. She couldn't see the disgusted look on his face. His lips pressed in a thin line and he smiled, shaking his head, eyes locked on Akira's.

"... You two have a good time." Sano took the soup, pouring it down the drain. Doll startled at the sound, turning.

"SANO?!"

"Mm? What is it? You two made lunch plans. Soup would've been better fresh. And I don't think I feel much like eating. Regardless, I'll see you both later. Enjoy your time with my brother, Melanie." He walked out like he hadn't just done anything drastic or sudden, leaving Doll utterly confused and Akira genuinely pissed off.

"... Did I do something wrong?" Doll looked at Akira again, almost looking panicked.

"Yeah. But don't worry about it." Akira wrapped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her off to his room.


	3. Making Mistakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akira is having some Short and Bitter realizations that he’s made a lot of mistakes this go around.

**Making Mistakes  
 _Tracklist: Lowlife - Poppy, Soap - Melanie Martinez_**

Mistakes had been made. 

A lot of mistakes.

They went out late in the middle of the night to eat, and then went out even later to shop around a 24-hour store in their pajamas. Running through the aisles, picking up soda and cookies and talking each others ears off. Chucking giant bouncy balls at each other, riffling through the bargain bin of movies telling each other about surprisingly not-too shitty movies.

Akira walked down the shoe aisle in heels and nearly fell on his ass. Melanie laughed like a maniac, balancing the cookies on her head and walking perfectly, showing him how to do it like a model.

They picked out matching pajama sets and looked at makeup. Melanie said she wanted to do facials. Akira raised a brow and grinned at her, offering to give her one for free.

They were lucky they didn't get kicked out.

Mel had grabbed him, as they were walking out with cheap alcohol and their junk food, and taken a picture. Akira looked caught off guard, not wearing his sunglasses for once, and she looked messy, grinning like an idiot.

She made it her phone background.

They would stay in during the day together, slightly hungover, playing Clue in the living room until they sobered up enough to switch over to a console.

A lot of the time, they'd play Overwatch, but sometimes Akira would break out one of his older systems and they'd tag team something silly, like a Kirby game. Mel loved old nintendo...

Admittedly? Akira didn't know a lot of nintendo. He was more into the fighting games. Injustice, Killer Instinct, those kinds. He wasn't even that much of a fan over Overwatch anymore, but he still played it with her. He'd play anything with her.

She would lay in his lap, clutching the controller close, cursing and bitching the whole time as she chased his ass around the map. He'd just laugh, leaning back hard every time she started to kick. He'd already gotten elbowed a couple times...

There were even times they'd find themselves lazily kissing each other, Akira getting handsy. He'd grab her up and growl at her, pinning her down, grinning and playing it up for a minute, but there was always something akin to worry in his eyes when she'd light up and laugh under him.

She'd slip into his shower and suck him off after along day. He never really protested that one. After that he'd just stand in the shower and hold her to him, scrubbing her and kissing her all over as she smiled and sang and danced. She always had a song in her head...

They did karaoke once at a bar. He could've done something sexy and cool for her, could've made the whole crowd swoon with his charm and voice. She absolutely loved to sing and could have done absolutely any song to show off. Instead, they dueted Mama Mia and laughed the entire time, dancing together like an old married couple.

Everything was a mistake.

Texting her in the middle of the night, telling her how much he wanted her in his arms. Mistake. Driving half an hour just to get milkshakes in the middle of the night. Mistake. Letting a girl like her into his life, spending so much time with her...

Mistake.

"I'm really fucking bad at this one, oh my gosh." Melanie was laying in his lap, the two of them staring at the TV as they played an old skateboarding game.

"Like? I don't know what happened?? I was getting Combos like crazy in the other level!!" She pushed herself back against him and he rested his chin on her shoulder, laughing.

"This level's like, the shit of the litter babe, it isn't you. Look, see? The only reason I get anywhere is cause I keep flipping."

"Shit of the litter? What is that, like, the opposite of the pick of the litter?" Melanie looked back at him, arching her brow.

"Yes, Clearly." Akira grinned back, pecking her quickly. They had fun together. He liked the fun. It was easy to be around her...

Melanie sighed, looking at him like he was the best thing in the World.

"I love you so much, you know that, don't you?"

Akira's eyes went wide and his blood ran cold.

Yeah, there'd been a lot of mistakes.


	4. Detached

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sano voices his concerns about Doll’s relationship with his brother, reminding her that it’s basically futile trying to connect to a man like Akira.

**Detatched  
 _Tracklist: Dollhouse Fire - Pastelle, Alphabet Boy - Melanie Martinez_**

He holds his hand up but doesn't say anything. I simply hand him a scalpel, like a Doctor and his Nurse.

"Something is wearing on you." I look up at him, laughing.

"Hey, I'm supposed to be the therapist here." He doesn't laugh back. His eyes stray from the body, but he still sinks the blade in, making a perfect line. The person's eyes roll back and they try screaming, but they're completely muffled by something shoved so far down in their throat I'm surprised they haven't passed out yet.

"Tell me what it is." Sano squeezes the leg of the girl, blood bubbling up where her skin is still splitting. He'd need a bone saw to actually do the kind of damage he was looking to do, but something told me he was just playing with her for now.

Hell, he didn't even look like he was enjoying himself. Still, I perked up, trying to smile.

"Aw, so you do care somewhere in there." I'm teasing him but he's still not laughing.

"Whatever it is, I don't want it disrupting my work." Oh. His work. Right. Not our work, just his. My smile falls and I sigh. At some point, I'd almost believed this guy liked me or even saw something in me worth valuing over the rest, but it seemed like the more time I spent with his brother, the more disenchanted he became with me.

"Look, it's really okay, honestly." He stares at me hard and I straighten up, putting on a serious face. He hums under his breath.

"It's about Akira, isn't it?" He keeps his eyes trained on me, spinning the scalpel in his fingers. Well, yeah. Duh. Of course it is. I cross my arms and lean back from the body between us. He side steps, walking over to his little table rack of tools. He sets the scalpel down perfectly spaced, pulling out a cleaver, turning back to the girl. He points it at me for a minute, narrowing his eyes.

"I'm going to say something to you. I'd like to consider us friends, Doll, wouldn't you agree?" He gives a little bit of a smile, something wicked in his grin and in his eyes. It almost even sounds like he's spitting my name, but maybe I'm just working myself up.

I nod and he straightens up.

"Good. See Doll, I keep you around because on some level, you and I connect. You and I are terrible, awful people." I feel my lip twitch. I'm not awful... I might do awful things but... I'm not awful.

Right?

"My brother... Akira..." Why did it seem like he was sneering?

"He's a different kind of terrible."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I hear the bitterness in my own tone and he looks down at me over his glasses.

"Akira is..." He keeps trailing his voice and it's starting to piss me off. He slams the clever down without warning and I hear a faint scream, watching the girl on his table bend to the side just enough to remind us both she's still alive.

"Detached."

"What?"

"He's detached. I'm telling this to you as a friend, Doll. Akira isn't attached to anybody or anything. Not anymore." I furrow my brows, listening to him, feeling my throat dry up.

"He's just an angry and lonely man."

"He doesn't have to be lonely." I argue, narrowing my eyes. Sano finally laughs, a bit of a grin breaking across his face.

"He makes himself lonely. He's detached." Sano dragged the clever through the woman's skin.

"You keep saying that, but if he's detached what does that make us? You think we're not detached from shit?! You think 'attached' people can carve up bodies and rip them apart? Fuck with their heads and make them whatever sick experiments you have?!"

"You're getting angry."

"No shit! Why are you talking about Akira like this? He isn't detached! He's the most caring fucking person I know, that man puts his heart into everything, who do you think you're talking to, Sano?! You're acting like I don't know him, Akira isn't detached--"

"He's detached from you." Sano's flat voice cuts through and I pause, leaning back, the anger still burning in my eyes.

"What?" There's disbelief in my tone.

"I didn't stutter Doll. And unlike you, I don't have to raise my voice to get a point across." He fixes his glasses and I glare at him.

"Akira is detached from you and sees nothing of value in you. So if you want to stay working here with me, why don't you get your head out of your ass and stop pretending you mean something to that man. You're going to tear yourself apart." 

I laugh bitterly, shaking my head.

"I'm so glad to see you care about my happiness, you're really fuckin' looking out for me, aren't you?" I hear my words shake as I stare at him. How did I ever think of this man as anything but cruel and calculated?

Sano narrows his eyes at me.

"Your happiness isn't what I care about. It's your quality of work."

I laugh again.

"Yeah, Yeah I know that, thanks."

"You're welcome."


	5. Monster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After very obviously being avoided for a week, Doll calls Akira out on his bullshit and drags him across the floor.

**Monster  
 _Tracklist: Cake - Melanie Martinez, Semi-Automatic - Twenty One Pilots, Me! - Taylor Swift & Brendon Urie_**

"You wanna tell me what the Hell your problem is?"

"Can it."

"Excuse me?" Doll's eyes went wide and she stomped her foot. She hated doing that, but it was the quickest demand for attention she could manage.

"I said shuttup!" He raised his voice, glowering at her. He stood his ground for a minute before backing down, looking away from her.

"... sorry." He grumbled and Doll shook her head, sneering.

"Oh no. You don't get to be sorry. You don't ignore me for a week and then turn around and act like it's nothing." Doll clenched her fists. A part of her really wanted to sock this guy.

"Yeah yeah, I get it. I'm shit, I'm the bad guy. Whatever." Akira still wasn't looking at her. Doll laughed under her breath, crossing her arms.

"Really? This is the game you want to play, Really?" She ran her tongue over her teeth, shaking her head.

"Do you think I'm stupid?" She asked suddenly. Akira just laughed, looking at her.

"No, Melanie. I don't." He sounded upset. She sighed.

"I love you--"

"Okay, I take that back, yeah, you're stupid." His lip snarled a little and she shoved him some.

"Shut the fuck up, I said I love you, and I'm not going to let you push away from me like this, so how about you get over yourself and tell me what your problem is."

"You. You're my problem." Akira had venom in his voice and it startled her. He looked at her hard, eyes narrowed. He looked... disgusted with her.

"You're in love with me and it makes me sick."

Ouch.

She winced and pulled her arms back to her body, hugging herself.

"What? Suddenly the idea that someone loves you for you is making you sick? Let me guess, the idea that anyone or anything could love a monster like you has you absolutely reeling." Her voice dropped low and Akira laughed, leaning his head back, crossing his arms.

"That's it, isn't it?" Doll asked, rather pointedly.

He laughed again.

"Yeah Pretty Bird, that's it--"

"That's stupid." She cut him off. Akira just sighed, pushing a hand through his hair.

"What do you want? What are you trying to get out of this? You want me to tell you you're right? You want me to say I'm a giant waste of time and space? I'm good for nothing? Come on, Melanie, tell me what you want and I'll give it to you!" Akira's eyes looked wild and he was rambling like he was a little manic.

"I'm shitty. I'm fucking terrible. I'm just some fucking monster and eventually you'll see that just like everybody else and you'll be gone." He raised his voice, getting in her face a little.

"... So that's why you're avoiding me? You're out here trying to prove to me that you're the monster everyone else makes you out to be? You want to push me away before I can fall out of love with you or something?"

Akira snarled at her.

"No!"

"Then what, Aki? What are you fucking doing any of this for?" She knew better. Akira was the hardest person to get to know and she put her all into it...

And now here he was, pushing her back out again.

"I'm not going to let you just sit here and play that game with me Akira. We're both adults. How about you talk about your feelings."

"Oh what are you, my therapist?" Akira shook his head, stepping back from her.

"Doll, just-- Just fuckin' get out of here." He walked off from her, slamming his door shut. She pushed her lips in a thin line and sat down on the couch in his living room, sighing.

"I'm not leaving..." She pulled out her phone, opening their messenger. The last thing he'd sent her was one of those stupid emoji's with a big grin and sunglasses. She smiled, laughing a little, wiping her eyes. She didn't want to cry but... him getting in her face like that made her heart stop. Her stomach ache...

She didn't want to fight. She never wanted to fight but she wasn't an idiot. She knew what he was doing. She'd known from the first couple conversations they'd ever had just the type of person he was.

The guy who wears his heart on his sleeve. The guy who smiles and winks, dances and laughs, and keeps something underneath all of it.

Akira was kind hearted, but he was also the man who internalized all of his own hurt to keep smiling for everyone else.

She hated it.

"Please let me come in." She sent the text, bouncing her leg. He made her nervous when he did this kind of thing... She had no idea what he was doing in there. Chain Smoking... Downing whatever bottle of whiskey he had stashed under his bed... playing with his lighter and contemplating disappearing and never coming back.

"Why? You don't want to see me. I'm just going to yell at you some more anyway. I can hear you sniffling Mel. I made you cry. You don't need this shit in your life. I'm being a total piece of shit to you and this isn't new. Can you please just move on already?"

She laughed, a little pitifully, shaking her head.

"That's not a no." Doll leaned back against the couch, sighing softly. He wasn't a bad guy. He just... kept making himself out to be one. She waited for him to text her back, and after ten minutes decided his silence was a yes.

She tried the door. Unlocked.

He was laying in the corner of his bed, hidden under a pile of blankets and pillows. She arched her brow. If she were in a better mood about it all, she would've laughed.

"... I hate to kick you when you're down, but you look pitiful. And I mean, I can't even see you." She crossed her arms and he groaned.

"Why do you put up with me?" He asked from beneath all the mess. She rolled her eyes, shutting the door behind her and flopping down. The blankets moved towards her and she felt a heavy head on her knee.

"I don't put up with you, Aki. I love you. You've... had a really rough go. You keep acting like you have to be the hardest person out there, you know? Like... Hm. Like you're someone you're not." She patted the blanket.

"Akira. I know you. You're not this heavy handed bad guy you put out there. You're... the man I want to play overwatch with and suck off while you're showering."

He snickered, poking out from under the blanket.

"I want to get nasty food with you at like, two in the morning, and go exploring and get actual good food when we're sober and just out to have a good time. I know we butt heads... but it's because sometimes you need someone to remind you where your head is."

Akira sighed, sitting up.

He knew that.

Everyone left him once they were done with him. They'd become what they needed to be using him as a crutch and then they'd move on. And when they wouldn't move on... He'd force them out. There was something in his head that kept telling him to push people away and he didn't understand it.

But that was okay.

"... I love you." Akira finally muttered, looking like a kicked puppy. Doll snorted, leaning in and kissing him softly.

"I love you too, asshole."


	6. Missing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Doll comes to Sano about Akira having disappeared for an alarming amount of time.

**Missing  
_Tracklist: Doubt - Twenty One Pilots_**

"He's gone, isn't he?" Her heart was pounding in her chest. Her eyes were more red than they were blue. She wasn't wearing any makeup, but he could still see the faint streaks under her eyes that she'd tried to wipe away. He could see how puffy her eyes were.

"What have you been crying about?" For once, he didn't sound so bitter. Sano looked at Melanie like a defeated man. She had to wonder what had him so much lighter-sounding than usual. Yeah, he still spoke with a very dull tone, still spoke very pointedly, but he'd always been that way.

He almost sounded more like the man she'd met to begin with. Inquisitive for the right reasons, someone who seemed genuine in his interest with her and her abilities... Less accusatory, more... concerned?

"... Akira." Her voice wavered but she stayed standing tall, clearing her throat. She was really tired of crying.

Things were different this time. This wasn't him ignoring her after a fight. This wasn't him taking time to cool off or blow off steam. It'd been a week. Two weeks. She fell apart after four days.

Sano shut the book he was holding, his lips pressed in a thin line. He knew something was wrong, but he wasn't sure what. Akira had always been a free spirit, off on his own, disappearing off into the night for a few days without blinking an eye. He wasn't worried, not at first. Akira wasn't his problem. He didn't care enough to babysit the guy. In his eyes, they were nothing more than roommates.

But now, he was something akin to worried. Not worried, Sano wouldn't be worried about this. It was more like... an almost despicable curiosity. He knew something happened, he just wasn't sure what, and he wondered what it could be.

"If he's dead, his body will turn up." Not necessarily. Not with the kind of circles he worked in or ran in... He could be at the bottom of the river for all any of them knew. He sighed. He couldn't say that to Melanie though, she already looked inconsolable...

"Dead..." Melanie's voice trailed off and she shut her eyes tight.

"You work the in's and out's of a lot of peoples demises, Doll, you shouldn't be so shy with the term..." He didn't even mean to be that sharp, but as soon as the words left him he realized his mistake. She glared at him and he put his hands up.

"Forgive me... I understand that he's not just a stranger on my lab table. It's different, and I can recognize that." He sighed again and stepped towards her.

"Ah..." Sano wasn't a man of physical affection. He didn't like human contact. He didn't want to hug, didn't want to hold hands, not usually, but he couldn't help it. Melanie looked up at him and it was the only thing he could think to do.

They were... friends. Even if he had his moments of somewhat pointless cruelty, even if he found himself jealous of her attention elsewhere like a spoiled child...

Even if he told her she was nothing more than a coworker at this point...

He cared. To the best of his capacity, he cared, and seeing that lost look in her eyes, he found himself reaching out to her, wrapping his arms around her. For someone so awkward and unsure, he had a strong grip. He pulled the girl to him, squeezing her.

"I'm... At a loss, Melanie." Sano shut his eyes and held her tight. Doll's lip trembled. She didn't know how to react. She could've held out for a lot longer if he hadn't hugged her. She'd gotten all her crying out alone but now, having Sano hold her, it was comforting.

Sano, comforting? Not a sentence she ever really thought she'd utter again. There was a time in their lives where she found the most comfort in his company, but lately...

"I'm scared." She whispered against his ear and he nodded, resting his head against hers, pulling his fingers through her tangled white locks.

"What are you afraid of?" Now wasn't the time to observe her or question her, but it was how Sano understood the world. He needed to know what was going on in her head, otherwise he couldn't ever hope to quell it.

Melanie just shut her eyes tight, crying in the crook of his neck.

"I-- I knew. I knew I'd lose him emotionally, you know? I knew that, I always knew that..." He'd find someone better... He'd remember he'd had better before her... he'd just get tired of her like absolutely everybody else in her miserable fucking life...

But this...

"But this is different." He didn't run away. She knew that. He didn't skip town and start a new life, something happened to him.

"I-- I was willing to enjoy whatever he'd give me for as long as I could, but I knew-- Eventually I'd see him getting more and more far off from me... But I'd see it coming..."

This was like a car crash.

No preparation. No chance to see this coming...

It was sudden and sharp, like splintering glass and plastic exploding off of a motorbike in the city lights as it crashed against a semi truck.

Sano shook his head, sighing.

"I don't... think that. You know the human mind Doll, you know the way Akira thought..." Like he was the worst person in the World. Like everyone around him constantly deserved better. Paranoid, short tempered. Willing to take the blame for anything anyone threw at him...

"You were the first person in his life who pushed back. You didn't roll your eyes at his attitude, you didn't side-step out of his way when things got heavy. You were the first person to put in the work that reminded him he was human. That he had value."

Melanie looked up at Sano, her eyebrows knit together. He looked at her hard for minute.

"And I don't mean that in a romantic way, either. You were the first person, period. Everyone would play to his favour and then once he'd worn out his welcome to them... they'd leave. You never left, Melanie. You always chased him." Sano had spent plenty of nights listening to that man scream and cry and punch holes in walls.

He always knew when another one of Akira's relationships tanked.

Melanie's shoulders shook as she cried against him. She felt stupid, she felt weak. Sano was the last man she ever wanted to have see her break down like this, but she couldn't stop herself.

They stayed in silence for a moment, Sano almost lovingly pulling his fingers through her hair as she slowly calmed back down.

"... so what do we do?" She asked, her voice broken and hoarse. Sano's glasses slid down the bridge of his nose as he rubbed his eyes with his finger and thumb.

"... Melanie. There's nothing we can do. He's not the kind of man we can really report missing... we just... Hope he comes back, I guess."

"Like what, like some fucking dog?!" Melanie gritted her teeth and Sano pulled back away from her, crossing his arms.

"Either he'll come back or he won't. You're welcome to stay here, you're welcome to check in if you can't stand to be around, but that's that. That's what we've got." He looked away from her and she shook.

"... you really have no clue where he could be?"

"I already told you where I think he is. He's got the back of his skull blown out and he's at the bottom of a lake or in the woods so deep the only thing that will ever find him is the maggots that are going to consume his body."

Melanie reeled back, eyes wide, face completely drained of colour. She felt her body jerking as if she were going to retch and she shook. Sano was done playing nice about this. She was just going to keep this up and he couldn't take it.

"Do what you want, Melanie." Sano picked his book back up, looking at her again.

She looked pitiful and pathetic, but for once, he kept that to himself. He ran his hand through his hair and sighed.

"Go home. Rest. You know where to find me."

And then he left, closing the door to his bedroom, the soft sound as loud as a slam in the quiet of the house. Melanie stood there for a minute, shutting her eyes.

Akira was gone.

Melanie found herself wandering to his room, letting herself in, wrapping herself up with the blankets. She felt sick. She felt like she'd cried herself sick, and now everything in her body sat in her throat.

She couldn't cry anymore. She just wanted to fall asleep and wake up to Akira's stupid fucking voice yelling at her for falling asleep in all her clothes. She shut her eyes, curling up in all his pillows, her heart so heavy she couldn't breathe right.

She'd never hurt like this before.


End file.
